Loving yourself can be difficult when you have limiting and derogatory messages playing in your subconscious mind. Most of these messages are recorded during childhood, but their effects can be far reaching! Did you know that you’re still being influenced by the things your parents and others said to you decades ago?
When someone told you that you were no good, you believed them. When someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, you believed them. When someone told you that you were stupid or learning disabled or weird, you believed them. And you still believe them to this day - even if you’re not consciously aware of these underlying beliefs.
Is it possible to overcome old messages and replace them with new, empowering messages? Yes! Here are three good ways to start:
1) Romance yourself. Think about the last love affair you had. At the beginning you and your partner probably devoted a lot of time, attention and affection to each other, right? You felt passionate and swept away by the beauty of your partner and he/she probably felt the same about you. One of the best ways to learn to love yourself is to enter into a similar process - with yourself! Treat yourself like royalty! Do things that make you feel happy. Hug yourself. Sweet-talk yourself. Buy yourself nice things. Spend quality time with yourself simply because you deserve it.
2) Explore your existing beliefs. You may suspect you have old, limiting messages rattling around in your head but still be unsure about what they are exactly. In order to discover the beliefs that are holding you back, you may need to go on an expedition. Begin exploring your existing beliefs by writing in a journal. Give yourself prompts or questions like these: “My earliest memory of feeling stupid was . . .” “My mother always made me feel . . .” “My father always treated me like . . .” and so on. The idea is to think back to an earlier time in your life and see if you can discover when and where your limiting beliefs got started. Then, challenge those beliefs. Are they still true? Were they ever true? Decide what you WANT to be true, and begin to replace the old belief by focusing more on your new and improved beliefs.
3) Emphasize your good qualities! When you have low self-esteem, you tend to keep focusing on the things that are “wrong with you,” and dismissing the things that you have going for you. Start to turn this around by praising and encouraging yourself in your self-talk. When you accomplish something, congratulate yourself! Say things like, “Wow, I’m really proud of myself for doing that. It wasn’t easy, but I pushed through the rough spots and gave it my best shot.” You can also make a point of simply giving yourself positive self-talk daily.
Recite affirmations like these: “I am a valuable person. I have a lot to offer the world. I’m talented and successful.” The more you do it, the more you’ll come to believe it!
(c) Wings for the Heart
http://holisticfeathers.wordpress.com/
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
10 Things Happy Couples Do
By Mark Goulston, M.D.
Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die. Now discover the 10 things that happy couples do:
1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Even if these actions don't come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love. Dr. Goulston is the co-founder of CouplesCompany.com and the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship (Putnam, 2001).
You can visit Dr. Goulston's website at http://www.markgoulston.com
Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die. Now discover the 10 things that happy couples do:
1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Even if these actions don't come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love. Dr. Goulston is the co-founder of CouplesCompany.com and the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship (Putnam, 2001).
You can visit Dr. Goulston's website at http://www.markgoulston.com
The message from the Grandmothers
January 2009: This is Why We Have Come
“Grandmothers, “ I said as I came to stand before twelve large, very imposing eagles, “I think I’m a little discouraged. I’ve been sick for a while and have been questioning everything. There are so many spiritual groups at work now,” I said, “so much channeling of information, so many ideas, teachers, etc, that it seems like we’re living in a spiritual marketplace. With everybody doing this and that, and a lot of it good,” I added, “I wonder if what I’m doing with spreading your message is still worthwhile.
“The Grandmothers eyed me and stood patiently by; clearly they were waiting me out. “I just wonder,” I said, “do you still want people to work with you? I mean,” I stammered, “do you still want me take your message to new people?” I was terribly uncomfortable asking this question, well aware that I was seeking reassurance from them, something I hated to do.
“Nodding knowingly, the Grandmothers gave me a penetrating look and then replied, “We do not care if people work with us or not. We are not looking for people to call to us.” I blinked and stared at them, wondering what this meant. “There’s a great deal of work that needs doing now on earth,” they said, “and our particular job is to infuse the energy of Yin back into this planet. We have come to awaken everyone to the presence of the Divine Feminine,” they said. “And we offer the empowerment into the energy of yin so you can experience this presence and be a vehicle for the Great Mother. So you can move out of separation, and into union with the Divine. This is why we have come.
“Our work with each of you is personal,” they said. “We have no theories to give you, no predictions or promises to make, except that if you answer our call your life will be filled with joy and you will no longer feel lonely and separated from the Divine. If you are tired of living separate from God, tired of feeling cut off, worshipping from afar, longing for union, longing for something better, then call on us,” they said. “We have come for this. Now is the end of separation,” they said and firmly folded their wings/arms against their chests.
“Your lives are much more difficult that they need to be, and when we see you in distress, it hurts us very much. Your pain is so unnecessary. The truth is that you are living in an exciting time,” they said. “Your birth was no accident. You were born for this time. Now!” they cried. “You were born to be forerunners, way-showers for the time when humanity comes together with the Divine.
“We invite you to experience this union we speak of,” they said. “It’s nothing that you need to think about, talk about, or read about, though of course you can do all that. You can experience it!” they said. “This is why we have come…so you can live in union with God, live within the weave of love. So you can greet the Divine within each person you see. This is why we have come,” they repeated. “This is why we call you together and why we offer our empowerment. Our gift is freely given,” they said.
They laughed and said, “But you live in a culture that is based entirely on buying and selling, on salesmanship and marketing, and this has made you so wary, so distrustful that you don’t recognize the truth when it is staring you in the face. We aren’t asking anything of you,” they explained, shaking their heads in consternation. “We have come to give to you. We do the giving,” they said. “You do the living. So if you want to be happy, if you want to live at one with the Divine, then call on us.
“We never lie. We speak only truth and give only love. We are here for you,” they said and gave me a soft look. “We adore you. We know all your flaws and fears,” they said. “We know everything about you, and we adore you,” they repeated. “You don’t have to live in isolation, separation, and worry any longer,” they said. “That time is over. We are now making the turn to the light. Now you can live in the light all the time.
“At this very moment stand all around you,”, they said to me, “beside you and behind you, under you and above you. Enfolding you. We will always console, comfort and uplift you,” they said. And then they lifted their heads, stood especially tall and said, “We are the Grand Mothers. And we have come for you.”
Read previous messages here.
http://grandmothersspeak.com/messages.php
“Grandmothers, “ I said as I came to stand before twelve large, very imposing eagles, “I think I’m a little discouraged. I’ve been sick for a while and have been questioning everything. There are so many spiritual groups at work now,” I said, “so much channeling of information, so many ideas, teachers, etc, that it seems like we’re living in a spiritual marketplace. With everybody doing this and that, and a lot of it good,” I added, “I wonder if what I’m doing with spreading your message is still worthwhile.
“The Grandmothers eyed me and stood patiently by; clearly they were waiting me out. “I just wonder,” I said, “do you still want people to work with you? I mean,” I stammered, “do you still want me take your message to new people?” I was terribly uncomfortable asking this question, well aware that I was seeking reassurance from them, something I hated to do.
“Nodding knowingly, the Grandmothers gave me a penetrating look and then replied, “We do not care if people work with us or not. We are not looking for people to call to us.” I blinked and stared at them, wondering what this meant. “There’s a great deal of work that needs doing now on earth,” they said, “and our particular job is to infuse the energy of Yin back into this planet. We have come to awaken everyone to the presence of the Divine Feminine,” they said. “And we offer the empowerment into the energy of yin so you can experience this presence and be a vehicle for the Great Mother. So you can move out of separation, and into union with the Divine. This is why we have come.
“Our work with each of you is personal,” they said. “We have no theories to give you, no predictions or promises to make, except that if you answer our call your life will be filled with joy and you will no longer feel lonely and separated from the Divine. If you are tired of living separate from God, tired of feeling cut off, worshipping from afar, longing for union, longing for something better, then call on us,” they said. “We have come for this. Now is the end of separation,” they said and firmly folded their wings/arms against their chests.
“Your lives are much more difficult that they need to be, and when we see you in distress, it hurts us very much. Your pain is so unnecessary. The truth is that you are living in an exciting time,” they said. “Your birth was no accident. You were born for this time. Now!” they cried. “You were born to be forerunners, way-showers for the time when humanity comes together with the Divine.
“We invite you to experience this union we speak of,” they said. “It’s nothing that you need to think about, talk about, or read about, though of course you can do all that. You can experience it!” they said. “This is why we have come…so you can live in union with God, live within the weave of love. So you can greet the Divine within each person you see. This is why we have come,” they repeated. “This is why we call you together and why we offer our empowerment. Our gift is freely given,” they said.
They laughed and said, “But you live in a culture that is based entirely on buying and selling, on salesmanship and marketing, and this has made you so wary, so distrustful that you don’t recognize the truth when it is staring you in the face. We aren’t asking anything of you,” they explained, shaking their heads in consternation. “We have come to give to you. We do the giving,” they said. “You do the living. So if you want to be happy, if you want to live at one with the Divine, then call on us.
“We never lie. We speak only truth and give only love. We are here for you,” they said and gave me a soft look. “We adore you. We know all your flaws and fears,” they said. “We know everything about you, and we adore you,” they repeated. “You don’t have to live in isolation, separation, and worry any longer,” they said. “That time is over. We are now making the turn to the light. Now you can live in the light all the time.
“At this very moment stand all around you,”, they said to me, “beside you and behind you, under you and above you. Enfolding you. We will always console, comfort and uplift you,” they said. And then they lifted their heads, stood especially tall and said, “We are the Grand Mothers. And we have come for you.”
Read previous messages here.
http://grandmothersspeak.com/messages.php
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
List of Spiritual talk radio stations
http://www.contacttalkradio.com/
http://www.cosmicdimensions.com/
http://www.selfinlight.com/awakeningspodcastdownload.html
live365. com spiritual catagory
http://www. beyondtheordinary. net/
http://www. spiritualawakeningradio. com/
http://www. sedonatalkradio. com/
http://www. contacttalkradio. com/programs. php
http://www. healthylife. net/RadioShow/archiveSPA. htm
http://www.justenergyradio.com/just-energy-radio-archives.htm
Internet Radio Program with In-Depth Interviews on Spirituality and Living with Awareness:
http://www.planetary-spirit.com/
Psychic Radio, Holistic Radio
Spiritual and Self Improvement Talk Radio:
http://www.achieveradio.com/
http://www.healing-visions.com/radioguest.html
http://www.huna.com/ind.php?id=news&sec=radio
http://www.kryon.com/k_freeaudio.html
RADIO & PODCASTS:
* 7th Wave Radio
* Achieve Radio
* BBC Radio - the best radio station in the world
* Beyond The Ordinary
* Coast To Coast AM
* Conscious Talk Radio
* Emerging Breakthroughs with David Kamnitzer & Joyce Jackson
* Eye on the Future Radio
* Feet To The Fire
* First Voices Indigenous Radio
* GCN Live
* Ghost Radio - The Underworld Show
* Hay House Radio
* Liberty Works Radio Network
* Lime Radio
* News for the Soul
* NPR
* Radio Out There
* Republic Broadcasting Network
* Passion for the Planet
http://www.cosmicdimensions.com/
http://www.selfinlight.com/awakeningspodcastdownload.html
live365. com spiritual catagory
http://www. beyondtheordinary. net/
http://www. spiritualawakeningradio. com/
http://www. sedonatalkradio. com/
http://www. contacttalkradio. com/programs. php
http://www. healthylife. net/RadioShow/archiveSPA. htm
http://www.justenergyradio.com/just-energy-radio-archives.htm
Internet Radio Program with In-Depth Interviews on Spirituality and Living with Awareness:
http://www.planetary-spirit.com/
Psychic Radio, Holistic Radio
Spiritual and Self Improvement Talk Radio:
http://www.achieveradio.com/
http://www.healing-visions.com/radioguest.html
http://www.huna.com/ind.php?id=news&sec=radio
http://www.kryon.com/k_freeaudio.html
RADIO & PODCASTS:
* 7th Wave Radio
* Achieve Radio
* BBC Radio - the best radio station in the world
* Beyond The Ordinary
* Coast To Coast AM
* Conscious Talk Radio
* Emerging Breakthroughs with David Kamnitzer & Joyce Jackson
* Eye on the Future Radio
* Feet To The Fire
* First Voices Indigenous Radio
* GCN Live
* Ghost Radio - The Underworld Show
* Hay House Radio
* Liberty Works Radio Network
* Lime Radio
* News for the Soul
* NPR
* Radio Out There
* Republic Broadcasting Network
* Passion for the Planet
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